The Farewell (2019) will make you cry in a good way

If you don't cry, you're so dead inside that I'm sending you a possum crawl up your ass and become your soul.

Directed and written by Lulu Wang (Posthumous)

Starring Shuzhen Zhao (Only Cloud Knows), Awkwafina (Ocean's 8), X Mayo (Strangers)

Nai Nai stood at the end of the driveway smiling. Her hand was raised, saying goodbye. The woman in the seat next to me on the plane asked if I was okay. I most certainly was not.

     I was the dude crying on the plane at a movie. Not loud and blubbering, but just sitting sad and staring forward, only a little fucking tear. And I was okay because I had just watched one of 2019's most moving stories.

     The Farewell begins with Billi (Awkwafina) living in New York with her immediate family. News comes that her grandma, Nai Nai (Shuzhen Zhao), is dying of cancer back in China, but the family decides to hide the diagnosis so her final time will be well spent. A wedding is rushed so everyone can come home and say farewell.

     For the most part, it's about family. It's about getting together for a common cause. Everyone has their place, from the doting grandma to the drunk uncle talking shit to the irrational daughter who's a black sheep. Gentle teasing and silly moments butt up against deep grief and sadness. During the run time, despite all the conflicts, the family is the center.

     One of the most direct conflicts happens inside Billi and her identity as Chinese American. At first, her own parents do not tell her because she is too American, too heart-on-sleeve. Nai Nai will know something is wrong. As other members struggle with their own feelings, as Billi came okay with not telling Nai Nai, so did I. Awkwafina kicks ass here, and those who know her from the over the top characters she has played will find a subtle and nuanced as fuck performance.

     Then greif. The whole thing's about dying right? Nai Nai's gonna die, and I'm not gonna cry again. Not gonna, nope… It's that lesson that comes with the question the movie answers: why do this to a nice old lady? Well, it's not about the nice old lady. I mean, it is, sure, she's sick and we don't want her screaming and wailing as she gets kicked down the tunnel of death by cancer. That was dark, and I apologize to Nai Nai. Anyway, the lesson is for us and for Billi. Just like funerals, all this is for the family. For those who will grieve and love the dying to continue to do so. Saying goodbye, knowing that you love someone and expressing that, is really fucking important. Cancer or a bus, we're all gonna die and could tomorrow. So be nice.

     Be nice to your grandma. Because the last time you drove away, and she stood at the end of the driveway and waved goodbye… And well, you didn't know it and just gave her one of those two finger things.

     Yeah, I'm crying again dammit. At least I'm not on a plane.