The Worst Library on the Internet
The Worst Library on the Internet
The Monkey's plot is a haphazard string of events created to get us to the bloody parts. Twin brothers find an evil toy monkey that kills people when it is wound up using the method of mysterious coincidence. The Monkey exists to entertain an audience with over the top splatter, not caring about who will die or really even when.
Read MoreI know I watched this in the theater, but It Could Happen To You is such an afternoon TBS movie made to fill time that I believe I always felt that was its role. Not anything life changing, but a good time. Watching it now, I see the kindness and good nature of the film.
Read MoreStagecoach jumpstarted the western genre by telling a simple story: a group of disparate individuals in a single vehicle traveling through dangerous terrain. Everyone had their own agenda and solidified the archetypes they represent. And it's also a hell of a western stunt show.
Read MoreAnora sets out to shine the light of truth on a classic story of a prostitute who marries a rich guy. Pretty Woman be damned as the heroine of our story is a disconnected vaping twenty-something not looking for anything but to get paid and do some good drugs. Our rich lothario spends most of his time on screen playing video games and being intoxicated. At the end of the movie you will be seduced by the grime of it all.
Read MoreIf you want excitement, come on down to the library's game night where we play a rousing form of copyright-friendly role playing game excitement! Our homebrew game of Stacks & Swords invites teens and adults every month to become a member of the "Bibliotheca Animarum," an ancient library that hunts down books and artifacts that can harm humanity. We go to adventure the last Saturday afternoon of the month!
Read MoreHere at the library we like to to think we are normal, everyday, eldritch being fearing folks. At the same time, we like to look around and see if there's a truth to that whole "the world is ending" thing. We took it to the book club, our general roundtable discussion group where we also do gobs of mushrooms. Here's what they said!
Read MoreAt the right place, the end of the shelf said "400-629," Jimmy found his way blocked by a giant stroller, a toddler pulling books from the shelf and letting them fall, and the behind of a woman bent over and waggling at him. The woman was also pulling books from the shelf, putting them back with a vengeance reserved for hammering nails into the coffin of an enemy.
Read MoreA loose, useless metaphor and small discussion about the movie Hit Man (2023)
Read MoreThe previous Sonic movies came and went, fun and fast and breezy with a good heart. Generally the tone of "found family" and "purpose of life" have been the undercurrent for slapstick nonsense. The trend continues in Sonic the Hedgehog 3 with a metric ton of forgettable jokes circling around a dark and chewy center of loss and pain.
Read MoreDave and Nancy found the old computers while going through storage looking for children's costumes. At least, that's what they said they were doing. The two of them often find out of the way places to be alone.
Read MoreTwo large wooden boxes marked with red text saying "Do Not Disturb" were delivered. I got Edgar, and the two of us struggled with them from the freight dock to the technical services room. Marge said we could put them anywhere that fit.
Read MoreIt was a Tuesday when I first saw her face staring back at me. I had a loaded cart of nonfiction and was deep in the stacks. My eyes have been getting worse over the years, and even though I have transition glasses, the small call numbers caused some strain.
Read MoreThe library hums and clicks and clacks with the speed of time. Technology has replaced what came before; a baby's cry overcoming the death rattle. Yet we pretend these things are not so because who could replace us? Does being replaced mean we do not, have never, mattered?
Read MoreInteresting things happen when you walk away from the circulation desk. You could come back to a line when you have not seen people all day. You could find a pile of materials, left for any reason but only a few logical. There can also be someone new when you get back.
Read MoreY'all ever seen a ghost? None of that "I was sitting in Pop-pop's favorite chair and felt a chill" shit. Pop-pop put his chair there because of the cold draft. He was used to it, liked it, and is not trying to tell you where his gold stamps are. So shut that shit.
Read MoreI got shot in the arms the day before yesterday. Not in the fun way. Flu and Covid, both at the same time, walking in there like a goddamn hero.
Read MoreAre you working? She's small and squat and looking up at me from the other side of the reference desk.
I said yes. Can I help?
Probably not. I have this monkey at home that keeps eating my petunias.
Read MoreWhy would anyone want to adapt a story? Is it a laziness inherent in the system to trust proven properties, a reluctance to trust something new, or love for a particular work that leads to the translation of that work into another media or voice? Could be all of the above, to be honest.
Read MoreIn some ways, the library has always known about the goblin that lives under the computer lab. We built the lab without surveying. We ignored the constant clatter of pipes and low grumbles. We carried on without care and are now reaping the consequences of our failure to certify if the computer lab was or was not "goblin free."
Read MoreThe band played and we swayed and the thump thump thump of the music made made made me weak. A lot going on with nothing at all to do, the library will be welcoming back all the hits and misses. See you soon, lovely kind.
Read More