D2: The Mighty Ducks (1994) got a lot of those kids back to try again
Directed by Sam Weisman, written by Steven Brill, starring Emilio Estevez, some other adults, and a bunch kids plus some more doing their best
Where do you go when the peewee hockey team is the best? Not the fucking Olympics because that trademark is expensive. The Ducks are going to the Junior Goodwill Games to play as Team USA, adding a bunch more kids to their roster to defeat the dreaded Iceland team. Wacky humor is the name of the game in this outing as the main addition is a cowboy hockey player who ropes a kid on the ice. Add in some local Los Angeles color and some capitalist angst for our favorite coach, and you pretty much get the first movie that got drunk and took a ride.
The following are my notes and contain spoilers, ya cake-eaters
Title is super dramatic
You know you are in for a good time when "D2" gets lasered off the screen with a big metal "ca-chunk" to reveal the first movie's title.
Good catch up with flashback and injury
Like the first one, there's a really well done series of scenes showing young Bombay skating with his dad having fun and getting a "remember your home" message, then now Bombay living his dream. Then it all comes crashing down with one injury. Cut to him getting off the bus in the rain, the ultimate sign that "shit's downhill."
Love a gathering montage
Just like the first movie that intros the kids, I love all the kids skating around picking each other up. Stand out goes to Fulton, ruining the day of a bunch of Hawks by ripping their pants off, and talking in a weird deep voice he does not have even now as an adult.
Charlie is the moral center
Right away as they begin to form Team USA, Charlie looks down from his high horse and says "shouldn't we be the Ducks?" I get that the thrust of this movie is anti-capitalist, but dude, you're playing in a world-wide tournament. You don't get to be your hometown division nickname. Until the end when you do.
Teacher is wrong
The team has a tutor so they can learn while away from home. She's well acted and nice enough as a role model, but her teaching sucks. She's trying to impart the notion of "people played sports for the glory and pride" but gets the facts all wrong by using ancient Rome/Greece as a template. Those assholes totally had sponsors and sold products.
Nothing about kids families
This is an extension from the first movie, sort of, but don't these kids have families? People back home rooting for them? Even Charlie's mom, Bombay's not a love interest here, is nowhere to be found. Or what about Jesse's dad who in the first movie was all about taking off work to see his kid play? At least we see that Goldberg works at the deli, and they put up a picture of him.
Trinidad and Tobago like Jamaica
This is my ignorance, but it feels like they wanted this team to be Jamaica. Just saying.
Bash brothers music
No money for metal in this movie, dammit. Our "Bash Brothers," Fulton and Portman, the enforcers of the crew, are supposed to be the rowdy crazy ones. So when they decide to go to bed and play a little music and begin thrashing around, you would expect some Sabbath or Metallica. Nope. Bachman Turner-Overdrive's "You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet." Don't get me wrong, it's a great song with a nice hard guitar on the chorus, but I did not expect it from these two.
Die hard villain
Man, Coach Iceland with the hair and the "kill them all" stare is just so cookie cutter villain it made me laugh.
Commercialization of peewee hockey
Bombay has been romanced by the money of it all. All the peewee hockey coach money. Yup. I mean, it's probably a good bit of money because kids want to do a lot of dumb shit and hockey is right up there with expenses. Still, a coaching shoe?
Lil Keenan teaching hockey
OMG Kenan Thompson is a baby in this movie! And does a great job, especially when the team goes to the "streets" and gets some training. Not gonna lie, this series is way more diverse and interesting than I remember.
Sad Adam dad talk
Poor Adam. First movie he can't play with his friends and gets knocked out by them, and here he gets his arm hurt. For a moment it's played like he will hurt himself more, but then good Bombay comes in and has a moment. And to be honest, it's sweet.
Evil coach is evil
Dude looks like he should be in Die Hard, and then when he's losing in a one-on-one match against Bombay he cheats. Just in case you guys in the cheap seats still thought he was a person with feelings.
Cat short shifted
We get a scene early on where the new goalie, Julie "The Cat" Lastname asks Bombay for more play time. So she gets it in the last little bit of the game. This should have had more weight and less Goldberg.
Plane 2 Duck
Two scenes in the end made me cackle with how clumsy they felt. The rodeo kid says "we're going home" and the film fades to a plane. Then the plane fades to ducks flying. What the fuck was this supposed to be?
Campfire queen
Then we get the last scene. With the gang sitting around a campfire and singing Queen's "We are the Champions" and what the hell is this? It's nice. But this is not what these kids have ever done, so it's ultimately confusing.