Hiding in Dark Places
I should have been paying more attention when the boy went into the stacks. I told him not to go, but boys disappear sometimes.
Read MoreA Hot and Private Mess
I tell you all that to tell you this: corporations do not give two craps about local needs
Read MoreHow to Cook Chicken Fried Steak in the Library Breakroom
How many times have you been working the reference desk and thought, man alive I could use a meal? Too many times, am I right? Born and raised in the deep South, my meals tend to lean toward the "chicken fried" variety, so I submit to you my own recipe for cooking up chicken fried steak with mashed potatoes, green beans, biscuits, and gravy in the library break room.
Read MoreTomorrow will take care of itself
When I was in kindergarten, some kid named Derrick said he did not want to be my friend. That hurt. Kick me in the stomach, cannot breathe crying hurt. Rejection is the monster that we all run from and from time to time will knock you down and tear out your heart.
Read MoreLibrary Mascots Through History
As you all know, Wichita Falls library has been desperately seeking a name for its racoon mascots. These mascots have a long and treasured history with the library system, much like the fabled lions that grace the New York Public Library. I promise you, by the end of this blog entry you will know the name or names of these branded creations.
Read MoreDriving While Poisoned
Having food poisoning and driving a car might seem like a bad combination, and I am here to tell you they are. If you can avoid getting food poisoning, I suggest you do. If you do get food poisoning, stay out of your car for all of our sakes.
Read MorePoison Books in Denmark and Libratarians
Over at the University of Southern Denmark in the country of Denmark, they found book that could kill people. Not some incendiary texts like Mein Kampf full of crazy stupid ideas of harm, but actual books with poison on them.
Read MoreSanta Claus the Research Helper
The other day I am sitting at the reference desk and a student of the local college comes up and interrupts my game of Minecraft. The kid in question asks for help finding sources for a reference paper.
Read MoreAnnual Conference and Anniversary
The annual American Library Association conference has come and gone. New Orleans took the brunt this year, the warm wild city welcoming librarians from all over as well as Michelle Obama and Emilio Estevez. I for one am excited with how Young Guns 3 seems to be shaping up.
Read MoreWhen I Think of New Orleans...
Thoughts of New Orleans are coming to mind this week as the annual ALA conference comes up. I will admit, I am a lot homesick and wishing I could be there.
Read MoreSummer Reading, Had Me A Blast
When I was little, I loved summer reading. I would go down to the library and other kids would actually be there. I got to fill out a form and tell all about the books I had been reading.
Read MoreCooking Eggs for the Universe
Mike Myers the comedian once said in the movie So I Married an Axe Murderer that most Scottish meals are based on a dare. Cooking in the South is based often on hope.
My mother taught me to cook the traditional way. She'd say, "ST, use the microwave if you don't want cereal. We're late for school."
Read MoreShared Dream is the most cliche thing I've written
Jason wakes up in a world without a sky. Check out this cliche story that by the end will have you wondering.... Wait, are we still in a dream? SHARED DREAM: It'll make you SLEEPY.
Read MoreKitchen Condolences: Anthony Bourdain Gave His Life
From the year 2000 to 2003, I worked in a lot of varied jobs to pay my rent while I went to college. A lot of those jobs were in kitchens, those hot and sweaty and crowded dens of iniquity. Years after, I read Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain and was transported to those times and those people with a strange sense of nostalgia and love. This past week Mr. Bourdain took his own life, casting my mind back to other memories of that time.
Read MoreThe Man Stacks Books by ST Harker
The man stacked books. They started small. A few little book stacks on tables here and there left at the end of the day. People do that. Shelver Becca called me in one day to look at them.
Read MoreSuggestion Box
Earlier today, I checked the library suggestion box.
Don't ever check the library suggestion box. Just let the damn thing sit there and get full. When it's full, take it to the back, further back past the circulation librarian's office, past the technical services desk, past the table with tape all over it because that's how you fix books. Take it to the back dark corner of the workroom and set it down.
Next you need a metal trash can. If you do not have a metal trash can, can you even call yourself a library?
Take the metal trash can and drag it over to the dark corner in the back of the library. If there is anything in the metal trash can not worth burning, take it out.
Start a fire with your library-issued chrome lighter. Use what you can, but make it hot and make it burn. Broken pallets work best or pine wood for scent.
When the yellow and orange cleansing bath has been drawn, pick up the suggestion box. Hold it tight and close to the flames. Lid out, at an angle, open the box.
There may be a force from the escaping suggestions. Allow the box to cradle in your arm, much like a baby attempting to get down but a baby that needs to eat. Eat baby, eat, you say as you tip the open suggestion box forward to the fire.
When you are done, feel free to return the box to the circulation desk. It's presence makes people feel better. As if they are being listened to.
If you have a question or comment for the library, reach out to us on our contact page, twitter, or email. Never Facebook or its hell spawn Instagram. Or maybe.
Battle of Big Bug and other books available on Banned Library Books
I know you know that the library has a podcast about books that have been banned or challenged or holy shit I'm not doing that. What you might not know is that we write fiction!
Read MoreTip the Carrier
The news paper thunked against the front steps of the library and bounced into the bushes. Evan sighed, put the car in park, and got out. He crossed the library lawn to get the paper where it needed to go.
Read MoreDear Vendor from a Company That is Not ReferenceUSA,
Dear vendor from a company similar but is not at all ReferenceUSA,
Nobody wants your shit. Nobody. Not my grandma, not my little brother, not any of the other people I make up to deny you. Not a single person on this material plane or the next.
Read MoreDirections for Solving the Library's Escape Room
You find yourself in a locked room. Two bookcases are along one wall. A door is across from them. The door has a dozen locks, all different and all requiring a code, key, or fingerprint. The door is solid as the walls. In the corner, you hear the hiss of air from a vent.
To escape this room, do the following:
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