Game of Thrones, Season 2, Episode 4 Review "Garden of Bones"

Three episodes down in this season and we might, might get a fight soon. Mostly everyone is postering and blowing smoke up each other's asses. For the most part, though, this episode is all about leadership and the eternal question of who has the power and who deserves it.

Read More

Guardians of the Galaxy and Thanos Were the Heart of Avengers: Infinity War

Iron Man, Thor, Hulk, and Captain America all got an entry when talking about the two and a half hour Avengers: Infinity War in past blogs. Now I'm gonna zone in on the two areas that, for me, formed what is wrong and right about the movie: Guardians of the Galaxy and Thanos.

Read More

Hulk Proves Avengers: Infinity War is Half an Idea

Avengers: Infinity War reviews are fun to write because there's just so much. Over the last few days, I covered that I don't like spoilers, that Iron Man learned that fighting back was useless, and that Thor unlearned everything he had learned from his movies. Now we're gonna get into Bruce Banner and his alter ego Hulk and really learn that this movie is kinda unreviewable.

Read More

Game of Thrones, Season 2, Episode 3 Review, "What Is Dead May Never Die"

Everybody's setting up someone on this episode of fantasy geopolitical camp. Tyrion's teaching school in King's Landing while Theon and Arya are learning lessons. Let's travel around and see what everybody learned.

Read More

Rampage (2018) felt too self aware that it was a big animal fight club movie

Look, I'm gonna say it so nobody else has to: people like to watch animals fight. Man vs Man is the most common of our movie going experiences, but the wide world out there in real life pits man against beast, chicken versus chicken, dog versus dog, and tortoise versus hare. With Rampage, we see a full acknowledgement of this with The Rock versus Flying Porcupine Wolf, Warthog Alligator, and Big Ape.

Read More

A Quiet Place (2018) makes a loud impression. See what I did? Fun with antonyms

I'll admit it, I laughed out loud at the opening to this flick. It's in the trailer, sort of, so spoiler alert or whatever but when that kid got ate I put out a nice loud "ha!" I'm not saying I'm not damaged, I'm just saying that shit was funny after a dozen trailers of build up. It's nice to be surprised once in awhile.

Read More

Death of Stalin (2017) will make you cackle if you have the patience to believe that it will make you cackle

Historic dramas have always been money in the bank. Get some well known actor, cover him in old looking stuff, and tell a fake story involving true people. Drama ensues because that's what people make. Get two or more people together and they shit themselves with drama. Historic comedies, though, are super rare because nobody wants to make people important enough to talk about into a bunch of raging assholes, aka real people. Death of Stalin doesn't mind so much.

Read More

Dog Day Afternoon (1975) might be the best non-heist movie of all time

A group of criminals with a plan find themselves in problem solving mode when everything goes wrong. That's the definition of most heist movies. The leads are charismatic, the side characters are quirky, and the plot often leads with a slow clap. That's how they did it, you say, and walk from the theater thinking if only you could be that cool. Dog Day Afternoon is what would happen if you actually did try a heist.

Read More

Game of Thrones, Season 1, Episode 10 "Fire and Blood" makes damn sure you'll swear an oath to come back next season

It's really hard to keep a group of friends together, you know? You hang out all summer, working hard at that chicken finger job, and when school starts you all pledge to do it again next year. But really, look around. You're all a bunch of dipshits with no honor and your oaths mean nothing, unlike this episode of Game of Thrones where everyone's honor is held high and oaths mean everything.

Read More

Muppets Most Wanted (2014) goes on a trip and doesn't really go anywhere

When the Muppets came back with the big movie that won music awards and had Amy Adams in it, I had a hell of a lot of hope. They were my touchstone from childhood that over the years kinda became that thing I used to like. When Jason Segel and the crew came back, they filled it with heart and joy that I remembered from before Henson left us. Then those creative people left and we got the corporate mandated Muppets Most Wanted.

Read More