Noteable - Zombieland: Double Tap (2019) does not reinvent the zombie wheel, but it does spin it round and round until shit falls off
Did you like the first Zombieland? Then get to the theater for a matinee and dive back in to more of the same. That feels lackluster to say because there's a lot of fun to be had, but for the most part this series is the American continuation of the plague that started Shaun of the Dead without the deep wit that made that horror comedy a classic. Gathering at the White House, Tallahassee (Harrelson), Columbus (Eisenburg), Wichita (Stone), and Little Rock (Breslin) have become a family. Little Rock and Wichita are feeling squirrelly, though, so when Little Rock signs up to live in a hippie commune they go to get her. What follows is a take on the zombie apocalypse that doesn't happen often: humans aren't miserable bastards. Everyone they meet is helpful if a little bit of a dick, creating fun dynamics between characters that have nothing to do with killing one another. The direction is solid with one action scene one-shot that's impressive with kinetic mayhem. The script has loads of fun gags, but the central story feels light on character growth. More should have been done to keep our gang together beyond introducing new zombie types and including an after thought of a relationship triangle. That being said, it's a good time for those who want more and no spoilers but keep your ass in the seat until after the credits.
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Here are my notes, beware spoilers:
Dir: Ruben Fleischer (got him a Venom credit)
Wr: Dave Callaham (Expendables, coming soon Wonder Woman 1984), Rhett Reese (Deadpool 1&2 to make you believe the jokes land), Paul Wernick (same shit as Reese but lower in alphabetical order)
Stars: Jessie Eisenburg (Award winning human embodiment of nails on chalkboard), Emma Stone (Award winning ten pounds of charm in a five pound bucket), Abigail Breslin (Award winning cutie patootie all grown up), Woody Harrelson (Award winning having fun and paying off the swimming pool)
Statue kill
We start with the zombie jump scares before the movie even starts proper with the Columbia Pictures liberty lady getting attacked and kicking ass. This might be the biggest surprise of the movie until the end.
Homer, Hawking, Ninja
Yay, this movie is redesigning its zombies. Yay and stuff. None of this pays off.
Kinda dislike Eisenburg, love Bresden
We get to see our heroes as a family, running around the White House and enjoying the apocalypse. The whole scene is fun, but for some reason (even more than when he was Lex Luthor) I kinda really dislike Mr. Eisenburg. Miss Breslin, however, is a delight.
Hippie people?
She's so delightful, perhaps because she gets shipped off as part of the plot and does not have to be in the majority of this movie.
Native Buffalo
This is the most pointed set up (or Chekhov's Gun) that I have seen in a movie this year, and that also takes into account Gemini Man's bee allergy. The delivery and the chewiness Harrelson gives to the idea that he has anything Native American about him is funny, but also kinda cringy. The movie wants to be edgy but just doesn't quite make it, or it's making fun of edginess and fails.
She's back same night as girl
It's pure narrative coincidence that the same night Eisenburg is banging the new girl Madison, Wichita comes back to town. It works in this movie full of campy situations, but wouldn't it have been better if Columbus had formed a relationship and then had to deal with his ex rather than what is essentially a one night stand scenario we saw on Friends two decades ago? Or what if they found Madison in the White House, she gets along with Columbus, and Witchita leaves feeling Columbus doesn’t need her?
Road to Graceland
The fact that they went to the White House and not Graceland is just weird given Tallahassee's immediate and utter devotion to the idea of going to Graceland. That's like saying once the zombies start taking over I would go to the Eiffel Tower rather than the Jack Daniels distillery.
Emma Stone best
As much as I bag on the coincidental relationship happenings, Emma Stone's version of Wichita as an angry ex is hilarious, especially since for the most part she can't blame him because she's the one who left. Her every facial expression when Madison speaks is a delight.
T800 Zombie
So we're introduced to three types of zombies when the film starts only to ditch them for gags to introduce a fast, Terminator type. I get ramping up threats for the sequel, but this felt a little off. It works for the most part, but I don't see why they could not have been more of an established threat earlier. Then it would have made sense for the gang to get in a defensible place like the White House. Also, the White House is a weird place for a few reasons: why is nobody else there and why didn't they try to access secret bunkers or any other Nicolas Cage National Treasure shit?
Mother fucker, my Zombieland fanfic is totally that Nicholas Cage is the president in the bunker under them the whole time.
Fucking Freebird
Omg that hippie kid was supposed to be annoying, but I kinda dug his Freebird and his Dylan.
Harrelson Singing
Maybe this is well known, but Woody Harrelson has a pretty damn good Elvis impersonation. And because I don't know where else to talk about it, Rosario Dawson is amazing as always.
Babylon "organic"
I do not understand how nonviolent hippies survive in a zombie apocalypse at all. Full stop.
Doubles not good?
At this point I was questioning whether Luke Wilson and Thomas Middleditch would turn out to be dangerous evil bastards. Nope. Everyone's kind of a dick, but otherwise cool until bitten. I just love how optimistic this end of the world is about people.
Great oner zombie
Here's the reason to see this in a theater: When Albuquerque and Flagstaff get turned into T800s, the resulting fight is akin to the Netflix Daredevil hallway fight. It's a long, one-shot fight that spans the entirety of the house. Every bit of it is amazing and fun, the kind of action that leans toward but not quite reaches John Wick. Marvel movies could learn more from scenes like this.
Nut allergy timing
The more I think about it, Madison might have an apocalypse superpower of narrative timing. She bangs a main character when he's in emotional trouble. Now she's back after having an extreme nut allergy that mimics turning into a zombie just in time for the end game. It's an interesting coincidence.
Music - Jurassic Park
I had to look up composer David Sardy to see what his credits were because while I know he's not John Williams, the cues at times felt very Jurassic Park. While I want to say the score is great, it's not very memorable.
Fireworks bad idea
Fucking hippies lighting fireworks thinking their walls will protect them.
Zombies flee fire
So I get that most of these zombies are smart, extending that to a sense of self preservation, but the fire stopping them seemed convenient. These are the Terminator types, why don't they fling their buddies into the fire a la Game of Thrones to make a bridge?
Buffalo succeed
For all the talk of the Native blood set up and the personal journey Tallahassee goes on to accomplish his "buffalo kill," it seemed fairly anti-climatic. Also, hippies holding back T800s with corrugated tin was a little past my suspension of disbelief. Are the zombies smart or not?
Elvis gun
Possibly because of Little Rock's absence through most of the movie, I was surprised by the actual gun introduced and paid off. The Nixon Elvis gun that saves the day was awesome, completing an arch for two characters that was under-served.
Don't know why together
At the end when Witchita and Columbus get back together, I just didn't buy it. Nobody learned anything in that relationship other than… I got nothing.
STOP RIGHT HERE FUCKING HERE IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE MOVIE
Murray Garfield 3
FUCK YES BEST PART OF THE MOVIE. Bill Murray famously does not do sequels with the only two exceptions being Ghostbusters 2 and Garfield 2. When he goes off killing zombies here at the junket for Garfield 3, I lost my shit with happiness. Also kinda cathartic after Dead Don't Die. Shout out here to Al Roker as well, who seemed like he was having fun.
