Nope Nope Nope
"You seen that Nope movie?" Freddy asked as we shelved nonfiction. We each had our own cart and neither had been sorted, so we kept crossing each other in the stacks.
I said, "Yeah. Three times."
"Three times?"
"Yeah."
"You scared?"
"At the movie? Not really. There's some good jump scares and imagery, but I'm kinda used to all that."
"I don't think so." Freddy walked down the cookbook aisle.
I followed him with an armload of celebrity bullshit texts. "You don't think so?"
"I think you were scared. So scared you kept going back to see it again. Make yourself feel alive."
"Nah. My friends don't really like horror, so I went by myself then they decided to go, so I went again."
Freddy shook his head. "What about the third time?"
"Ashley worked on Saturday, so I went with her on Sunday."
Freddy shook his head and shelved Matthew McConaughey's All Rice, All Rice, All Rice. "You were scared. Needed someone to hold your hand as you looked into your soul."
"Sure. What did you think?"
"Haven't seen it. Who's Ashley?"
"You gonna see it?"
"Nope. Way too scared. I don't fuck with aliens. Who's Ashley?"
"What's wrong with aliens? I think it's kinda nice that we might not be alone in the universe," I said.
Freddy put down the books he was carrying and turned to me. "Are you a genie or something? Do I have to ask you three times before I get an answer?"
I smiled. "Tell me why you don't like aliens, and I'll tell you who Ashley is."
He weighed it over then nodded. "Okay. One time, I'm watching this movie in college. And it's great. Space, laser swords, robots that are sassy, beautiful princess. Then the end comes. They all sit down to eat, when this guy starts convulsing. 'Get this man some Pepto Bismol,' his friend yells. The guy, he keels over, face all red and straining like he's taking a big crap. Then his shirt starts to move."
Freddy put his hand under his shirt near his chest and started thrusting out before continuing.
"Then, this little fucking alien thing all bloody and demonic, like a worm from an Arizona desert, pops out of the guy's chest. Looks all around. Then hops up with a little hat and cane and starts singing the scariest thing. I can hear it. 'Hello, my honey. Hello, my baby. Hello my ragtime gal.' Then, slide out and it's gone."
Freddy stared into the distance. His eyes glistened and his shoulders shook. He turned to me. "Who's Ashley?"
"Children's librarian," I said. "We watch movies together, me, her, and her husband. We were talking about making a library group. Would you come?"
Freddy wiped his eyes with a sleeve. "Nope."