The Marvels begins in space with a woman with a purple stick and her dudes. They crack open a thing and inside is a bangle much like Ms. Marvel wears. Since she looks all crazy and the bangle is powerful (but we don't really know what it does really, maybe activates powers?) we can assume this is the villain power origin story on fast forward.
Cut to the holder of another bangle, Ms. Marvel aka Kamala Khan aka played by the wonderfully bubbly Iman Vellani, fangirling about teaming up some day with Captain Marvel aka Carol Danvers aka played by the stoic Brie Larson. There's an animated sequence that lights up the screen and sends a message that maybe this ain't your daddy's Marvel movie. Spoiler alert, yeah, I'm going through the plot with my thoughts and this is half your daddy's Marvel movie.
Kamala finds herself propelled… somewhere, we'll come back to it because we get a "hold up, let's go back" bit. We're in space with Carol reliving some memories aka the movie Captain Marvel. Nick Fury, aka Sam Jackson aka a bad ass mothher fucker, calls her for help so you know things are sideways. Something is wrong with the travel portals we normally see in Guardians of the Galaxy that are hexes like in Wandavision and GOOSE IS BACK AND CAN GO IN SPACE. SPACE KITTY FORCE IS A GO.
Since we got Fury (don't call him Nick, his mother doesn't call him Nick) and something hex-adjacent, we get Monica Rambeau aka oh yeah she was in Wandavision I like her aka played by Teyonah Parris. She's got powers they don't define, ever, and gonna go out and touch a malfunctioning space hole. It does not go well. All three of our leads start to switch places in space.
The best part of the movie is Kamala and her family's reaction to everything. They might just be a jolt of energy to the military stoicism that every other corner of this oozes. Like a bright red scarf on a field of blue. Everything from Kamala freaking out being in space to her mother asking "Is someone pressuring you?" after her daughter was body swapped… This is not your daddy's Marvel and it's delightful.
We go back to our villain, Dar-Benn aka mad Kree aka played by Zawe Ashton doing the best she can with eh. I honestly had no idea what was happening here. Dar-Benn is mad and the Kree are negotiating with the Skrulls but then she's like I'll let you go. Go where? Why? The Kree have been bad guys for every turn so far, so I got lost for a moment. Their homeworld Hala is in bad shape, but even she says it was because of a civil war. Sounds like a you problem, but it's a motivation so okay. Then Carol shows up and the switching really begins.
A few Kree get taken to both Fury's space station and Kamal's house while everyone is fighting everyone. Our leads continue to be confused as they fight in various locations, with Goose freaking out everyone. Special mention goes to Kamala's mom getting several shots in and the look Fury gives Kamala seeing her beat ass. Like I said, they are the best, but the very confusing fight is shot well and the locations are so different I never got mixed up.
I still don't know what Rambeau's power set is. They keep saying "she sees light," but she goes intangible and flies and shoots light and whatever. She's cool and I'm in. This whole battle ends with her and Kamala falling through the air, Rambeau learning to fly. The effect here is not good, very green screen as if you could see the globe thing they use. The acting is fine though, just don't look at the landscape around them.
There's a lot of tiny lines that work. Moments. One in particular, something is fast approaching the space station and we get a "It's cool. It's Carol" that made me laugh.
So it looks like the bad villain's plan is to use the bangles to open portals to suck up all the atmosphere. The bangles are Quantum Bands (points to the internet nerds) that set up the whole portal network of hex things, but if too many portals are made the universe can break. Kinda like swiss cheese but oops all holes. Also turns out that Kamala's powers were not bangle based, she just can do that so the mutant thing holds from her show. Also the purple stick that looks like the power stone that was used in Guardians of the Galaxy is called a universal weapon because the villain needed to be more than a woman with jewelry. I just find it fun that the bangles created travel across the universe and then someone buried one and gave one to an Indian family. Makes you think about something, too late, time for some drama.
With the gang all together on the spaceship, they use Carol's mind meld to see all kinds of past things. This includes Carol destroying the Kree AI and then talking to Mama Rambeau while she died of cancer during the Snap where Monica was wherever people went. The AI being gone made the Kree destroy the planet, and Carol never came back because she was trying to fix it and Mama Rambeau died. Cue our interpersonal drama conversation of "You said you'd be back" and "Lots of people needed you" and then the wham line heard in drama classes across the world: "We needed you."
I get this is strong for the character, but it feels like we've heard this before in a million stories. Larson and Parrs try to sell it, but the characters are military stoic so it kinda just exists as drama. Not bad, but not really memorable.
Bright moment with Fury taking the Khan family to space. "He's taking us to hell." Also I'm pretty sure mom called him "Nicholas." Just delightful.
So with the drama and the threat out in the open, our gang of Marvels must work together. Cue a montage with Beastie Boys Intergalactic where they learn to jump rope, throw balls, and general switchy fun. It's done really well.
Then for the next sequence we go to the musical episode. And I actually started to think of this as a tv show from here on out. Parts are very segmented and with wild mood swings making the very short run time feel like a Youtube montage of "here's what you missed on the Marvels." The gang gets together, the gang tries to save the Skrulls (did I mention the Tessa Thompson aka Valkyrie cameo? Didn't really matter), the gang learns about their pasts and powers, and now the gang sings.
This is a fun part, but like I said, it's almost its own montage. The colors are bright and everyone shines as the planet of water's main language is song. Also Carol is the princess and is married, but whatever. Another funny, quirky thing that's not really fleshed out. Big punchy punch fight against mad Kree and we move on to the end game because the next target is Earth.
Will Carol save the Kree by giving them back the sun? Will the Marvels stop being entangled? Will Monica and Carol hug it out?
Yeah. But first Fury and the Khan's deal with kitten eggs and evacuating the space station. This is literally horrifying and silly. The tentacle-mouthed SPACE CAT Goose had babies. Because kittens are easier to transport and the station is missing some escape pods, the kittens go around and eat all the terrified members of Fury's crew who apparently were not told today was the day to mark zero on the "days since crew members were eaten by adorable kitten tentacle-mouthed monstrosities" board. And it's set to "Memories" from Cats which is hilarious.
In the end, we have a three on one punchy fight that ends with the villain getting Ms. Marvel's bangle. She punches a hole in the universe and dies. The Marvels combine their powers like Captain Planet and Monica seals herself away on the other side.
In the end, it's bittersweet. Monica is trapped with the 90s X-men cartoon. Kamala now lives with her family in Rambeau's Louisiana house for some reason but is also recruiting Young Avengers (the scene with her and Hawkeye recreating the end of Iron Man is genuinely a delight). Carol… keeps doing Carol shit. I dunno.
One thing that bugged me: for the end power combining, Kamala has both bangles. Then she doesn't for the rest of the end. What's up with that?
Look, I had fun with this but it's a total formula movie. There's a lot of laughs, some fun lore things, but nothing feels fleshed out or real beyond the Khans. I liked it, but I did not care.
