Evil Smoke from Her Lungs
Everything smells like a barbeque at that uncle's house, the one that also knows exactly how much tannerite costs with tax down at the Guns and Go.
Read MoreOther End of the Line
I answered the phone against my will.
Read MoreDammit, Dan Brown, I believed in you
The library sits atop a battleground of old dead things whose bones were covered first by lava, then by sand and water, and finally by a building where people complain about Dan Brown.
Read MoreThe Crawling Chaos Visits the Library
Elder being Nyarlethotep came to the library this weekend to see how curbside delivery works.
Read MoreGet Cooking and Get Out of the Way
People do not know what they need but will scream at you to give them what they want.
Read MoreNew Library Program "Redneck Clown Family Invades Your Dreams" Begins Tonight!
A family of redneck clowns will invade your dreams tonight, courtesy of the library, because the pandemic has not caused enough stress.
Read MoreMurder Hornets Make Nest in Book Drop, Want DVDs
Circulation librarian Brenda discovered this week murder hornets have made a nest in the library book drop and demanded Season 3 of Game of Thrones.
Read MoreLaunching Books: The New Library Service?
One branch library is testing a new "book launcher" to give patrons safe access to library materials.
Read MoreDisney Review: Bambi (1942) is the movie Fantasia wanted to be
With a crisp soundtrack, gorgeous visuals, and moving coming of age story, Bambi kicks ass.
Read More13 Notes About Dumbo (1941) That Will Not Make Me Cry
Disney's Dumbo's got big ears and big problems that he overcomes with booze and false hope
Read More11 Notes about Reluctant Dragon (1941)
A studio tour goes horribly wrong and exposes the weird goings on behind the scenes of the Disney animation… plus there's some cartoons.
Read More18 Notes about Fantasia (1940) from a Tired Librarian
Fantasia weaves a wonderful dream that might just put you to sleep.
Read More21 Notes about Pinocchio (1940)
We dig into the 80 year old Pinocchio and ask if Geppetto is a bad dad, how the world works, and if the Blue Fairy can get it.
Read MoreSnow White and the Seven Dwarves (1937) is a dying dream
Snow White was killed by the Huntsman and the rest of the movie is a dying dream of hers.
Read MoreExtraction (2020) proves the rule that stunt people know how to do stunts.
Double tap and run run run to see this one.
Read MoreBlood Hunters: Rise of the Hybrids (2019) has some pretty asskicking moments
Sometimes you need a nap before you fight not-vampires.
Read MoreThe library asks that you not come any closer lest we close this mother down.
Library’s closed. Fuck off.
Read More7 Books You Can Lie About Reading During Quarantine
Here's seven books that nobody else read so you can say you read them during quarantine.
Read MoreThe Lodge (2019) takes its time to bother the hell out of you
The slow burn is real.
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